Hollywood says: Mutants live in secret, wear tight suits, and solve their problems in slow motion.
But what if that’s just the official distraction? Like aliens. Or gluten-free cookies.
The Truth™ is:
People with special abilities are real.
They don’t fly, they don’t glow – and most of them work in seemingly ordinary jobs. Or let’s say: inconspicuous ones.
If you’ve ever stood in a break room wondering how that one colleague always knows when the printer breaks – or why the finance guy says “Hi Lisa” as you enter the office, even though Lisa’s out sick and you haven’t even turned the corner yet – you may have just had contact.
Rumor has it, there are talents like:
• Subtle manipulation of electromagnetic fields (e.g. “feeling” Wi-Fi)
• Probability distortion (a.k.a. “luck”)
• Pre-instinctive detection of toxic team dynamics (usually followed by a sudden new job)
• Passive thought-conditioning of household pets (95% of cats live with their humans by choice. The other 5% are agents.)
What the movies don’t tell you:
They’re not hiding underground. They’re right among us.
They don’t wear masks. They wear noise-canceling headphones, look at you just a bit too long before answering –
or leave a party exactly five minutes before something weird happens.
It stands to reason:
The X-Men are real. They just don’t call themselves that.
And they really don’t like being noticed.
Bonus warning:
According to semi-official sources, binge-watching X-Men films can lead to synchronization –
a state in which your brain starts to believe you might develop a special ability yourself.
Common symptoms include:
– An aversion to magnets
– Attempting to open doors telepathically
– Always finding exactly the pen you need
– Believing you can hypnotize others… wasn’t there something with a reporter and a casserole?
The Truth™ is:
Abilities are innate – and originate from energy sources on Earth, created when it collided with deep space.
In places where this energy is present, those abilities can be trained, enhanced, and triggered with unusual intensity.
But all of this is known only to a small circle of people on their way to becoming higher beings.
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