“Calm down!”
Instead of counting to ten, I think about where this sentence ranks on my list of most hated phrases when I'm stressed.
As if I could calm down with what I have on my to-do list, where I have to do A, B, C, or H-M next. I don't want to do any of them, but I feel like I have no other choice — which, when I think about it, has always been the main source of stress for me: the feeling of having no choice.
Is that right? Is the root of the stress problem the feeling or the actual circumstance of having no choice? That strikes me as odd at first, when I think about my overloaded to-do list. That's what causes the stress, right? Too many tasks and responsibilities and deadlines – exactly, and far too little time. But what if... I had a choice?
For example, when I do something, how, in what order or whether I do it at all... would the stress then be gone?
When I look at my list, it contains almost exclusively things that I want to do, at least don't mind doing, or that cause me little stress—on their own, at a time of my choosing.
Most of the tasks even gave me a very generous time frame in which to complete them – but I didn't do them. Instead, I may have added a new task to the list because I was dissatisfied with myself for not having completed the first task (yet). That would explain why the list keeps getting longer and my stress levels are rising: with each additional task, my window of opportunity for making decisions narrows until I finally have no choice but to complete one task after another, in the shortest possible time and in a predetermined order. This is the state in which every disruption is a catastrophe, and every mistake is a disaster.
And I feel constantly annoyed, and the adrenaline increases my stress, and I get even more annoyed, which blocks or at least hinders my productivity and creativity, which slows me down, which increases the time pressure, which increases the stress, which...
Why can't I just say STOP and pause for a moment? Right, see above, because I have no choice.
What if I were sick? But I'm not. But what if I were? Then I would have to try to at least complete the tasks that would still be possible. Or the most urgent ones.
And if that's not possible?
...
Um – what do you mean, not possible?
Well, I could... I don't know, have no power, no internet, a high fever, severe pain, there could be something preventing me from doing it...
No, then I have to find another way.
Okay – so... I'm convinced that despite a power and internet outage, high fever, and severe pain, I would find a way to complete my tasks?
Yes, of course, they have to be done.
But currently, I don't have a power or internet outage, high fever, or severe pain... and I'm stressed because I'm afraid I won't be able to complete my tasks?
Yes.
That's totally stupid.
In a way, yes – but I'm still stressed right now.
I feel like some kind of alarm has gone off in my system, even though I'm supposedly sitting here calmly.
Stress alert? Stupidity warning? Short circuit?
Phew, lucky me, it's just the soliloquy detector. But shouldn't it only trigger when I... OMG, what did the manual say about that?
Manual? Since when is there a manual for me?
No idea, but it's about time for one.
Oh, right, that's a really cool idea. What if there was something like that for every person? Built into our DNA, or our soul, or our brain – where we could look it up under... hm.
I know, the letter W as in Why do I always have to be right? Or what...
What do I want with all the sticky notes on my desk? If I ever read them, whatever’s on them will already be long outdated.
True. Or is there a way to not always get impatient right away when something is going too slow for me?
Wow, there would be so much that could be in there and be useful … why doesn’t that exist.
Maybe it does and you just don’t know about it?
Hey, I’m not stupid, just stressed. Besides, other people would know about it too.
And they’re not telling you? How mean – apparently, you’re not all that popular.
Pfft – I don’t need to be – besides, they know I’m smart, they probably assume I know already – I admit I like to give that impression.
But you don’t.
But they don’t know that.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Um … so is there a manual?
Probably not.
Then why are we talking about it?
Because you're stressed?
But then I haven’t had time for this!
And yet you just did it.
What are you trying to tell me? That I had a choice and was just too stupid to realize it – and then instead of taking a break, I talked to myself?
That, and that you just wrote the last article for Space World Time(s) for this issue, and after you posted it in the column and sent out the newsletter... maybe you're done for the day.
The article? Which article?
Well, Curly thoughts about stress.
But I wanted to write an article about humor.
Do you find this funny?
No?
Then stick with stress 😉
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